Masters of Song Fu: Volume 1

by Jeff MacDougall

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03:28
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04:12
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02:27
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02:30

about

These are my entries into the Masters of Song Fu songwriting competition.

credits

released 31 March 2009

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Track Name: A Brief History of Pudding
Soaking in your sponge bath, you ponder all the things
that make up our existence here and all the joy it brings.
But before you reach your unifying theory
You get distracted by a snack

It makes you dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb that yummy pudding.
It’s like the big bang in your mouth. Like a black hole on your brain, like vacationing in Maine...
Just one taste, your intellect goes south.

It’s not like this is Jello for which we always know there's room.
You top it off with Cool Whip. Man, that stuff will be your doom.
And before you can complete your brilliant thesis
You're off the chair and lying on your back.

It makes you dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb that yummy pudding.
It’s like the big bang in your mouth. Like a black hole on your brain, like vacationing in Maine...
Just one taste, your intellect goes south.

And if you could hold a spoon, I’d say drop it!
Theres a monkey on your back… ok, side pocket.
Let’s try a different path, c’mon Steve do the math.

Now maybe we could help you if we knew just what it was
that hooked you on this treat. Just what was the first cause.
But before you share your story in a nutshell,
just seems to me you really don’t know jack.

It makes you dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb that yummy pudding.
It’s like the big bang in your mouth. Like a black hole on your brain, like vacationing in Maine...
Just one taste, your intellect goes south.
Track Name: High
Safe in the capsule
gonna leave here soon.
nothing around me
though there's not much room.

It's quiet. It's calm.
can you hear me? It's Tom.

I'm getting high!
can you see me?
I'm the blink in the night sky

I'm not afraid
so much to fear
hey, I can see my house from here...

no air to speak of
and still my hand is on the door

I give it a shove
and out into the clear
don't want to take a fall from here

out of the capsule
gonna leave here soon.
and the stars look very different today
And I'm floating in a most peculiar way

I'm high!
can you see me?
I'm the blink in the night sky

I'm not afraid
everythings clear
there's nothing left to engineer

I'm high!
can you see me?
I'm the blink in the night sky

I'm not afraid
everythings clear
tell my wife no need for tears
Track Name: At The Moon
Long ago, when we were younger and in love
we take the long way home. Your bike. My baseball glove.
And when we get there we climb up on the roof.
Look up at the clouds and see what shape they took.

And now it's been years
and your miles and miles away
And when the nights are clear
I get up on the roof like all those afternoons
and look up at the moon

Last I saw you, you were getting on the train.
kinda cloudy. Felt like it might rain.
We said goodbye like you were going for a day
I tried to write you but I don't know how to say

I'm standing here
and your miles and miles away
And when the nights are clear
I climb up on the roof like all those afternoons
and look up at the moon

you used to say
that everyone whose far away
is closer than you think
that we are all in sync
just go outside
and look up at the moon
and whistle the same tune

And now it's been years
and your miles and miles away
And when the nights are clear
I get up on the roof like all those afternoons
and look up at the moon
Track Name: Becky The Office Party Drunk Girl
(Oh my God! I love eggnog!)

Every year, this time
between the turkey
and auld lang syne
it's her time again.

(Is that a tree or are you just happy to see me? I'm under the missletoe!)

Becky the office party drunk girl
she's lit up brighter than the tree
just watch and see...

(Mr. Stevens, is that your wife? She's so young! Is this punch spiked?)

Hasn't got a clue
bet she lost more than her shoe
in the copy room...

(I got a present for you right here! Hey, lets go copy our body parts!)

Becky the office party drunk girl
she's giving gifts, all of them free
just watch and see...

(Time for my Christmas bonus! Hey! you wanna unwrap me?)

She does the yankee swap-
in' spit with everyone but me.
I shouldn't care but she seems so fun and free...

(Wooo! I love Christmas!)

The jokes on me.

Time to wrap it up
she never even spilled a drop
let's get her out the door...

(Wow. Did you see Mr. Steven's wife? Talk about a gift bag.)

Becky the office party drunk girl
if we can dry her out on time
on monday, she'll be just fine.

(I have a secret crush on you.)
Track Name: Free Love
You like me and I like you.
Could I like you? I could. Could you?
Me and you and you and me.
I could like you. You so free.

I could like love you see.
I could love like you, so free.
I could love like I could. See?

I love you and you love me
Could you love me? I could see...

Me and you and you and me.
I could love you. You so free.

You could love like I could. See?
I could love like you, so free.
I could love like you could. See?

So I see you like free love.
So free me love. Like you.

I like me and you like you
Me, you see, like you so free.

You and you and me and me
You like love so love free

I like me and you like you
I could love free. So could you.
Me and me and you and you

Free.
Track Name: It All Makes Sense At The End
It's not his first time in the building
wonders just what makes that smell
he says hello to his mom's mom
she always has something to tell

(and she says)
"all of my life
I tried know what I could.
even when people said thats not always good
the troubles and strife,
lost faces and friends
but it all makes sense.
it all makes sense.
It all makes sense
at the end."

Not long ago there was a roommate
he stayed quiet and seemed small
they always said he used to be great
lots of trophies on the wall

(and he said)
"all of my life
I tried know what I could.
even when people said thats not always good
the troubles and strife,
lost faces and friends
but it all makes sense.
it all makes sense.
It all makes sense
at the end."

Life on this ball
goes by pretty fast
it's so easy to think it will last
but it wont.

"all of my life
I tried know what I could.
even when people said thats not always good
the troubles and strife,
lost faces and friends
but it all makes sense.
it all makes sense.
It all makes sense
at the end."
Track Name: Nerdy Cougar
He listens closely for her log in
And hopes that she’ll send him a wink
He wonders what she really looks like
And hopes one day he’ll have a link

To her page
Hopes she’s of age

She logs on and then gets excited
When she sees him hangin’ round
Wonders if she’ll be invited

To his place
And show her face

Nerdy Cougar
She’s Looking for fun
Nerdy cougar
The hunt has begun
Nerdy cougar
She’s hoping to find the one
To end the game
To light her flame


He wonders why she has no pictures
Worries it might be a sting
She plans on giving him the grand tour
Even if it’s just a fling

She spins her web
On the interwebs

He’s 23 and and she’s 44
Will he like what he sees?
Will he run for the door?
Can he look past her age
If she offers him more tonight?

That’s right
I just rhymed night with right
(and I'm gonna stand by that... yeah)

Nerdy Cougar
She’s Looking for fun
Nerdy cougar
The hunt has begun
Nerdy cougar
She’s hoping to find the one
To end the game
To light her flame.